Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Writing For The Media - News Assignment 2

A man died this weekend after being allegedly attacked in a ‘road rage’ incident whilst he and his partner were queuing outside Boldover rubbish dump.

Harry Hampton, 64 was with his partner Barbara Richards, 56 when the incident happened.

After arriving at Boldover Hospital, Mr Hampton was treated for a broken arm and a cracked rib, but died hours later from heart failure.

The incident occurred when the driver of a sliver BMV went over to where Mr Hampton was sitting in his car.

A Spokeswoman for Wishingshire police confirmed that the driver left the scene of the incident and “May not know of Mr Hampton’s death”.

The couple were said to be on their way to off load unwanted possessions in preparation for Mr Hampton to move in to Ms Richards house in Avenue Road, Broxham.

Susan Witchard, 67 was Mr Hampton’s next door neighbour for seven years and describes him as an “extremely good friend” who “wouldn’t hurt a fly”.

At a police press conference, Detective Inspector Helen Havers appealed for the BMW driver to come forward and speak to police as soon as possible.

The driver is described as white, 5ft 7 or 8 inches tall of a stocky build, clean shaven and possibly wearing glasses.

Toby Norris, a consultant clinical psychologist at Daring Hospital in Mornbury has been studying anger related problems, such as ‘road rage’ and ‘queue rage’ for 22 years.

“Outbursts are growing as life gets more crowded. People are more likely to become angry when they feel frustrated and restrained. Cars make things worse as they are insulating, a barrier to communication. Men are much more likely to explode in these situations”.

He added: “Even in Wishingshire these types of incidents are escalating, as the country becomes more densely populated”.

Word Count: 297

Critique of My Work:
I found this exercise useful as i was able to apply newly learnt skills to it eg. the inverted pyramid structure, paragraph lengths etc. Dispite going over the word length for the average paragraph i have tried to stick to the news story checklist formula.

I included the quote from an experts opinion as i felt it added context to the article and was relevant to points that i had made in previous paragraphs regarding 'road rage'.

1 comment:

Anne said...

Structure -- Good display of inverted pyramid. Short paragraphs --good.

Accuracy -- carefully written with the known facts. Make sure you attribute all information to a source. 'Said to have occured' -- said to whom? Quote a named source, such as the police officer, if you can.

Punctuation - some missing commas and inappropriate use of upper case. Watch punctuation around quotes, which goes inside speech marks when a full sentence.

Audience -- written appropriately for local audience.